1. |
||||
I've been trying to better myself
But it's getting harder every day with no help
Cut those ties look at how we've fallen
Reaching for the pills that's been my solace
No I'm not a hero but I ain't a fucking villain
I've been trying to get better I've been on the penicillin
But I felt worn down got worked to the bone
You can see it in my face wanna help just don't
Thinking it's best that I just be alone
I don't wanna be a burden think it's best I go
And the moment I'm back, that I really don't know
Made a lie to your face said I'd check on my phone
Open bottles drank every drop
And back then it was better I think a lot
Cause I never doubted I never thought
I just did what I felt every chance I got
Fall just came with that season change
It's like every year I just feel the pain
And we take a look at what we became
I'm just feeling tired and we feel the same
I've been trying to better myself
But it's getting harder every day with no help
Cut those ties look at how we've fallen
Reaching for the pills that's been my solace
Been a few years now I cannot recognize
All the signs that you're giving now I'm feeling real blind
To the things that I cared about now I don't mind
Every time that you hurt shutting both of my eyes
Everything you said let me to take it to heart
But you don't apologize now we're breaking apart
When you gonna learn that your words have weight
Cause I feel shit too can't put that away
Gave a label I don't mumble rap
When I get no chance I don't fuck with that
I've been tossed to the side about a thousand times
I don't see no stars in a clouded sky
Still it builds and deep down inside
It won't die down soon no it stays alive
And it'll keep going strong it's fuel is hate
And living down everyday it's the cruelest thing
I feel hopeless, walking nightmare
You made a promise you'd be right here
Medicated I feel vagrant
Quitting cold just to make a statement
I've been trying to better myself
But it's getting harder every day with no help
Cut those ties look at how we've fallen
Reaching for the pills that's been my solace
|
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2. |
Leave Me Be
03:06
|
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Leave me be I lost my chance
Making everything better in this circumstance
Hate me now I lost my head
Sinking deeper in the sheets with an empty bed
Lost myself some time ago
Making all the finer choices just to feel afloat
Didn’t matter to me all along
Keeping all the deeper secrets just to feel belonged
Kept my feeling in my knees
Help a little when I run and I start to freeze
Never right when I hang around
I don’t wanna be the center when I speak aloud
Leave me be I lost my chance
Making everything better in this circumstance
Hate me now I lost my head
Sinking deeper in the sheets with an empty bed
Yeah I focused on the wrong again
I’m a nervous wreck
But I can’t help but seem
A little fake to this tired dream
That I just self-impose
Almost every time that’s the way it goes
So when you ask me nice
To play along you’ll be surprised
Leave me be I lost my chance
Making everything better in this circumstance
Hate me now I lost my head
Sinking deeper in the sheets with an empty bed
|
||||
3. |
Hope Can't Help Us Now
03:26
|
|||
Prod. Yusei
Opened up and drank half the bottle
Know what we want no time to dawdle
Wrap the night I got a bloody fist
Gotta aim and target but it’s them I missed
Filled my stomach every night I drank
Woke up in the mud out by the bank
Going back we share a common space
We even got the same bed to compensate
Conversations got very few
There had come a point and we made it through
Barely speaking no change of heart
And I felt it too and got torn apart
Glass half full never gotten empty
Will I drown myself thinking do not tempt me
Choices chosen now set it stone
I just think it’s better I let it go
We are done if I’m not mistaken
No more chances and no more faking
Hope is so unhelpful now
Don’t make a difference it seems I’ve found
Started up the bad luck down and now I'm so struck
Down in the dumps can't move feeling so stuck
Find another reason to get up and every morning
I can feel a pit inside me it's growing and been informing
Something going wrong at a bad time and place
Cause I'm feeling half gone lost feeling in my face
Truth be told I'll explain later date
I like putting shit off that's my greatest trait
Help yourself I said back I'm fine
Cause it's all the same it goes every time
Calm my nerves I smoke northern lights
And fuck seeing sober it's a foreign sight
Take some time and you will know my name
Cause it'll come some day I won't look the same
Better off and thank fuck I left
With every memory gone and put down to rest
We are done if I’m not mistaken
No more chances and no more faking
Hope is so unhelpful now
Don’t make a difference it seems I’ve found
|
||||
4. |
Currency
03:00
|
|||
Plugging my arteries now I'm forming up a clot
You should know that it's hard to be that somebody that I'm not
Every picture you got of me every one is not ideal
I just wanna be myself cause I don't get the appeal
Walking up the stairs and jumping off of the balcony
Saying thanks to everybody and the people who doubted me
And the moment that I'm gone they staying claiming they're innocent
Beg to differ bigger picture been committing some dissonance
Some of these people say
I just might really fade,
Fade away like currency
Don't believe it couldn't be
Hate the fucking winter when we're skipping through autumn
I touched the bottom with my teeth a couple problems I got em
I'm learning over to adjust I feel the temperature freeze
Another day it goes to dark we're stuck in twenty degrees
Floating with no patience every day of the week
I'm feeling weak inside my knees like every time that I speak
And set me back just like a clock I'll try to keep my composure
Another sad unhappy ending with no sense of no closure
Some of these people say
I just might really fade,
Fade away like currency
Don't believe it couldn't be
|
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5. |
For Another Weekend
03:28
|
|||
Work all day then I come back home
Everybody all around me fall to ruin like Rome
Lung gave out blowing out my last breath
I don’t wanna reminisce I wanna leave the past dead
Filled to the top I got too much work
All these thoughts in my brain bad shit that lurk
Cram every term last minute don’t learn
Coulda called a firefighter with the time I burn
Surplus spot occupied with a bag
Well nobody sits there I’m alone what a drag
Nineteen years last two were a waste
Writing songs it’s the money or the fame I chased
I don’t know the difference both seem great
It’s the end of my life now resigning can’t wait
Retirement funds I withdraw that stung
And say fuck what you thought I’m just young and dumb
Bear with me for another weekend
Make ends meet I don’t want false pretense
Yeah I’m tired all the time we’ll make it through we always do
No time to think or plan ahead I’ll make it right and fix it too
Lot on my mind feeling overwhelmed
This ain’t nothing new I’ve come to know it well
Used to the shit that I said I hate
Well I dug myself down an open grave
Up to my throat got too much to say
I’ve been stuck in this mound I’ve been running in place
I get close every time but won’t let me escape
I’m gonna melt through the ground flowing down through a grate
Pessimistic heart full disregard
I don’t keep you in mind we can drift apart
And that’s life that’s tough and I know it’s hard
But just might be best if we don’t restart
Cross the ocean my ship has sailed
Well I need that drip felt off the rails
Plenty told it’s time I gotta make it stop
My life for the fix gotta make the swap
Bear with me for another weekend
Make ends meet I don’t want false pretense
Yeah I’m tired all the time we’ll make it through we always do
No time to think or plan ahead I’ll make it right and fix it too
|
||||
6. |
Vices
03:22
|
|||
Prod. Arvid
Waiting outside like I just lost the keyring
I got real ice, I got diamonds on my earrings
Standing in the rain we don't got a sunny day
Buying every pack of woods with every bit of money made
I don't do good all I do is making damage
Wanna run away I'm just checking in my baggage
I ain't doing well I've been feeling so lost
And this CO1 drip I've been breathing from exhaust
Hate this ache inside my chest
I thought you weren't the same you weren't like the rest
Fooled me once then fooled me twice
I'm picking up my broken heart thanks to your vice
Waiting on the porch I've been laying by the doorstep
Passed out cold I've been drinking now to forget
Sitting by myself got a bottle on the shelf
Digging deeper in the scars got a pain I never felt
I don't need a therapist I'm feeling all the same
Know that it was all my fault know that I'm the one to blame
I don't need a reason at this point I'm using time
Making up another story I just say I'm doing fine
Hate this ache inside my chest
I thought you weren't the same you weren't like the rest
Fooled me once then fooled me twice
I'm picking up my broken heart thanks to your vice
Well that's how it goes
I got a trail of bad memories need a tighter rope
Sick to my stomach got a lot a dope
I gotta find another way when I gotta cope
Hate this ache inside my chest
I thought you weren't the same you weren't like the rest
Fooled me once then fooled me twice
I'm picking up my broken heart thanks to your vice
|
||||
7. |
||||
Sunken in doubt deep down there's a cloud
He don't stir so well but he do get loud
Only got one goal making sure he gets heard
Gotta make it right now till my life gets worse
Laid by the sand drawn away by the beach
Making no contact I'm a little out of reach
Rock and a hard place stuck in between
Finding no way out no I can't be seen
Taken aback when I stand in the rain
When I bailed that time didn't wanna face shame
Cause I'm dead to the rest when the kettle go cold
Made another cruel trick when the strings get pulled
Gone too soon don't forget my name
Take it a lesson learned to regret my fate
Motherfuck all the rest do whatever feel right
Seeping down the fucking drain what I said not quite
Red eyes up on orange horizons
Not much time, that's not surprising
Burned out slow I'm stowed on an island
Sunset's gone no lights are shining
Swept by the wind when the trees do fall
No nerves in my legs, walk turned to a crawl
Got no good luck wrong roll of the dice
I just feel a bit better when my cure gets ice
Dreamt of the stage and the face in the crowd
But I'm gone for the night float away I'm a cloud
Taken some time now I got no dreams
I don't feel no better I don't know what life means
Page in my book but in yours I'm a line
I just wanna know the reason you had nothing more to write
Shrugged me away then your feelings decreased
Cause I don't mean a thing I was just a set piece
Laid up in my room now I don't ever leave
Bitch you got a lot of nerve in saying that we never speak
I don't wanna make it I don't even wanna try
Never wanna see your face and I promise that's why
Red eyes up on orange horizons
Not much time, that's not surprising
Burned out slow I'm stowed on an island
Sunset's gone no lights are shining
|
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8. |
Get Me Outta Here
03:24
|
|||
Prod. Rodger
I don't want apologies
I'm just done and want to be
Out of here if possible
But it seems it ain't that probable
They've all heard my name enough
I'm nothing to anyone
I'm the no-good second-rate
Boy they needed yesterday
So it goes I'll just take my headache
I'll be alone myself and then take
Every last drop of that open bottle
Passed out drunk laying horizontal
I'll be fine don't ask at all
I'll waste all my time against the wall
Glass in my lap and a cap in my hand
So tired down here I don't even want to stand
I don't want apologies
I'm just done and want to be
Out of here if possible
But it seems it ain't that probable
They've all heard my name enough
I'm nothing to anyone
I'm the no-good second-rate
Boy they needed yesterday
So it goes I'll just take this migraine
They had never cared for anything that I say
Every last stick in the center of the carton
Feeling sidetracked I'm just wasting carbon
I'll be fine don't ask a thing
I'll take all my time waking up in sinks
Soak my head I'm getting up
And I don't know where I'm ending up
I don't want apologies
I'm just done and want to be
Out of here if possible
But it seems it ain't that probable
They've all heard my name enough
I'm nothing to anyone
I'm the no-good second-rate
Boy they needed yesterday
|
||||
9. |
Transmission
02:52
|
|||
Prod. Arvid
Reflecting upon it cause now nobody’s responding
Sending signals way out but it seems like it’s gotten
A bit lost on the way no receiving it now
I made a fucking SOS no hearing the sound
Smoking the pain I’m fucking burning a swisher
I’m drinking almost everyday and I’ve been hurting my liver
Passing the time I stay depleting the cart
It’s either that or outside with my keys in the car
Kids up in the city think it’s cool to be sad
They playing fake everyday you’re a fool to be that
And each and every lie told one day will come back
And I can promise it ain’t worth it being subject to that
Living a lie they’re just posers to
All the ones who have brains yeah they’re over you
Wanted dead by the rest made majority vote
Seeing so fucked up how authority goes
If I said to you I hate this life I wasn't joking
Overall I have to say I'm feeling down and broken
If I said to you I love this life then I was lying
Recently I've slowed it down and felt so tired of trying
Long term thoughts ain’t coming to me
I lost parts of my brain now I’m something unique
Pills by the dozen make you stutter your speech
And so high like a junkie rediscovering speed
Right up the nose I’m going zero to eighty
I got a scale out back when the kilos need weighing
Done it for sport these bitches couldn’t compete
And every half baked line that you wouldn’t complete
Bored and alone I just pull up my notes
I rap when I’m back home every word that I wrote
I’m smoking down my rent now that’s the crime I commit
And know the blunt stay colder than the rhymes that I spit
Ashed out wraps in the bottom of bud lite’s
Get paler by the day from the lacking of sunlight
Never would guessed if you see what I saw
It’s getting harder every day being cream of the crop
If I said to you I hate this life I wasn't joking
Overall I have to say I'm feeling down and broken
If I said to you I love this life then I was lying
Recently I've slowed it down and felt so tired of trying
|
||||
10. |
How I See It
02:32
|
|||
Hanging outside I'm the lonely noose
And you said you love me well show me proof
Got enough smoke in the blunt to share
Made a deal out back and I'll meet you there
Bored and act ordinarily now
Cause you hate my voice I'm unbearably loud
Made a withdrawal ain't faring so well
Secrets told that you're caring to tell
Said I'm great but don't mean to say
That I never felt better and I'm here to stay
Wrote a note with no hope to know
I don't mean to float with this sinking boat
Knife in my stomach I fall and I plummet
My guts on the ground when I'm kicking the bucket
Don't fuck with no others don't call up my number
Just leave me to rot and fade out with no color
So if I took this leap of faith
Would you jump it down with me all the way
Straight down about well a hundred feet
We don't got a thing to lose it's just you and me
Working out fear I don't need the courage
Whenever there's a pot well you gotta stir it
Look who ended up with no single person
Every lie and cry made yeah I fucking heard it
Bitch I can see right through the fake
I don't give a fuck with the excuse you make
I don't answer I don't wait all night
Lemme block a caller and pay the price
Horizons out and emerging sea
9 1 1 an emergency
I'm calling bout when I'm needing help
Cause I'm feeling down I'm not feeling well
I need somebody to help pull me out
I'm on a gurney they're rolling me out
Losing my lung when I'm walking around
Even I am the subject they're talking about
So if I took this leap of faith
Would you jump it down with me all the way
Straight down about well a hundred feet
We don't got a thing to lose it's just you and me
|
||||
11. |
Detachable
03:43
|
|||
When I’m gone remember me
Remove my being, that’s my remedy
See my breath I’m a hollow cage
I’m like this now I’m sorrow made
Worry about no one including me
I’ll just disappear alone they won’t assume a thing
Dragged in the sun I was left to hang
Got a half dead vision when the voices sang
I’m a fool thinking that I’d see
A little medicine I’m taking nothing curing me
No way out I’m trapped in here
Stayed confined and these walls are closing near
When I’m gone remember me
Remove my being, that’s my remedy
See my breath I’m a hollow cage
I’m like this now I’m sorrow made
Worry bout no one and even I
Can fix no wrongs that I see as right
Soaked in the sun I was left to dry
Got a half gone wish praying to the sky
It’s a joke thinking that I’d find
A place that I could call home and could rest my mind
No trace left I’m gone this time
Wishing that I rest alone I got no strength to climb
I’m a different animal
All my feelings that I got are detachable
I’m most certain that I lied
Nowhere to run nowhere to hide
When I’m gone remember me
Remove my being, that’s my remedy
See my breath I’m a hollow cage
I’m like this now I’m sorrow made
|
||||
12. |
Excess Company
03:07
|
|||
Your excess company is doing no good for me so,
I'd hate to be a bother while I'm watching how we go
Do not awake me I wanna stay in golden slumbers
For the rest of eternity buried under the covers
I'm fucking frozen in time I spend these moments in my bed
I never want to arise I'm choosing sleeping instead
Down below the surface no the problem is deeper
I never understood myself and they can never know either
I'm feeling victim to an issue that I cannot control
I'm trying my hardest and my best but that's a view I uphold
Your excess company is doing no good for me so,
I'd hate to be a bother while I'm watching how we go
Got a little tougher I still carry my motives
And on the ride I lost perception I just buried my focus
I'm clinging fast onto the edge I feel my fingers will slip
A paper trail to leave behind because my mouth will be zipped
Want a bit of smoke I'm reaching into the carton
I'm never stopping never ending bitch I'm barely just starting
I planted just a couple seeds and now I'm tending the garden
A motherfucking dreamer now this territory's uncharted
Your excess company is doing no good for me so,
I'd hate to be a bother while I'm watching how we go
|
||||
13. |
Melancholy
03:03
|
|||
These melancholy thoughts invade
Every inch and every space
Of my mind and won’t give up
I’ve seen it all and felt enough
I’m a mortal human being
I cannot do that much
I try with every fiber in me
Still they’re quick to judge
I try to make a different speech
According to the missing piece
A part that left a mark inside
And helps to bring the peace
I try with all my strength
It hurts to break apart with greater length
Familiar face and place
I can’t recall but though I know your name
I lost my train of thought my brain can rot
My veins’ll clot
I’ll make a song and fake along
My message made conveyed it wrong
These melancholy thoughts invade
Every inch and every space
Of my mind and won’t give up
I’ve seen it all and felt enough
Toss and turn I watch it burn
It seems I’ve gotten worse
I try with all my force my breath is short
It’s like I’m speaking Morse
Talk in tongues I speak in code
They ask me what but I don’t know
Disregarding this alarm and
Waking up remarking on the fact
I take my days and waste
Them all I make them all the same
Never change between the two
And losing feeling too
Made an effort check the dresser
Pop and made it better
Never better that’s whatever
Gone and with the weather
These melancholy thoughts invade
Every inch and every space
Of my mind and won’t give up
I’ve seen it all and felt enough
|
||||
14. |
||||
Fading memories
Temporary
All that's over gone and passed
Today is new, it couldn't last
Sharing stories
Waiting for me
Even though it didn't work
I'll take it as my lesson learned
Keep your head up out of line
Just put a smile on I'll be fine
Drink it down don't mind the taste
No need to wait no time to waste
Oxycodone side effect
You've had your turn and don't attempt
Took a rest I'm on the street
It hurts my lungs I hate to breathe
Fading memories
Temporary
All that's over gone and passed
Today is new, it couldn't last
Sharing stories
Waiting for me
Even though it didn't work
I'll take it as my lesson learned
Tried my luck and couldn't make
That second chance I wouldn't take
Getting by I'm hating life
These razor blades they must suffice
Tried my best not good enough
I'm on the edge, I'm giving up
Looking down no looking up
I've got a voice they couldn't love
Fading memories
Temporary
All that's over gone and passed
Today is new, it couldn't last
Sharing stories
Waiting for me
Even though it didn't work
I'll take it as my lesson learned
Don't go, she wept
Sometimes things are best unsaid
Don't leave, she meant
All those times I up and left
No heart so far
It's worked to help with these scars
No stars they are
Spending nights behind the dark
Cry me a river
And drown me in sorrow
I may not shiver
But I will tomorrow
|
||||
15. |
Lose My Mind (Cover)
02:42
|
|||
I'm 'bout to give her everything she ever wanted and more
What I deliver it's something that can't be bought at the store
I'm tryna bring you with me baby while I'm finding myself
That feeling when you kiss me tells me I don't need no one else
I had to lose my mind a couple times to find out its you
I had to run around the world just to be here it's true
These other women don't got nothing on the way that she moves
Lets pick up right where we left off last night inside of my room
When the time come
I'll be right here
Sippin' liquor with a grin on my face, for you
I got nothing left to keep me awake
I don't got no better thing to do than sit here and wait
For you
For you
For you
For you
|
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