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Gridlock

by YCK

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Jason W
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1.
I Try Not To Let It Get The Best Of Me 03:18
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I've been trying to better myself But it's getting harder every day with no help Cut those ties look at how we've fallen Reaching for the pills that's been my solace No I'm not a hero but I ain't a fucking villain I've been trying to get better I've been on the penicillin But I felt worn down got worked to the bone You can see it in my face wanna help just don't Thinking it's best that I just be alone I don't wanna be a burden think it's best I go And the moment I'm back, that I really don't know Made a lie to your face said I'd check on my phone Open bottles drank every drop And back then it was better I think a lot Cause I never doubted I never thought I just did what I felt every chance I got Fall just came with that season change It's like every year I just feel the pain And we take a look at what we became I'm just feeling tired and we feel the same I've been trying to better myself But it's getting harder every day with no help Cut those ties look at how we've fallen Reaching for the pills that's been my solace Been a few years now I cannot recognize All the signs that you're giving now I'm feeling real blind To the things that I cared about now I don't mind Every time that you hurt shutting both of my eyes Everything you said let me to take it to heart But you don't apologize now we're breaking apart When you gonna learn that your words have weight Cause I feel shit too can't put that away Gave a label I don't mumble rap When I get no chance I don't fuck with that I've been tossed to the side about a thousand times I don't see no stars in a clouded sky Still it builds and deep down inside It won't die down soon no it stays alive And it'll keep going strong it's fuel is hate And living down everyday it's the cruelest thing I feel hopeless, walking nightmare You made a promise you'd be right here Medicated I feel vagrant Quitting cold just to make a statement I've been trying to better myself But it's getting harder every day with no help Cut those ties look at how we've fallen Reaching for the pills that's been my solace
2.
Leave Me Be 03:06
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Leave me be I lost my chance Making everything better in this circumstance Hate me now I lost my head Sinking deeper in the sheets with an empty bed Lost myself some time ago Making all the finer choices just to feel afloat Didn’t matter to me all along Keeping all the deeper secrets just to feel belonged Kept my feeling in my knees Help a little when I run and I start to freeze Never right when I hang around I don’t wanna be the center when I speak aloud Leave me be I lost my chance Making everything better in this circumstance Hate me now I lost my head Sinking deeper in the sheets with an empty bed Yeah I focused on the wrong again I’m a nervous wreck But I can’t help but seem A little fake to this tired dream That I just self-impose Almost every time that’s the way it goes So when you ask me nice To play along you’ll be surprised Leave me be I lost my chance Making everything better in this circumstance Hate me now I lost my head Sinking deeper in the sheets with an empty bed
3.
Hope Can't Help Us Now 03:26
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Prod. Yusei Opened up and drank half the bottle Know what we want no time to dawdle Wrap the night I got a bloody fist Gotta aim and target but it’s them I missed Filled my stomach every night I drank Woke up in the mud out by the bank Going back we share a common space We even got the same bed to compensate Conversations got very few There had come a point and we made it through Barely speaking no change of heart And I felt it too and got torn apart Glass half full never gotten empty Will I drown myself thinking do not tempt me Choices chosen now set it stone I just think it’s better I let it go We are done if I’m not mistaken No more chances and no more faking Hope is so unhelpful now Don’t make a difference it seems I’ve found Started up the bad luck down and now I'm so struck Down in the dumps can't move feeling so stuck Find another reason to get up and every morning I can feel a pit inside me it's growing and been informing Something going wrong at a bad time and place Cause I'm feeling half gone lost feeling in my face Truth be told I'll explain later date I like putting shit off that's my greatest trait Help yourself I said back I'm fine Cause it's all the same it goes every time Calm my nerves I smoke northern lights And fuck seeing sober it's a foreign sight Take some time and you will know my name Cause it'll come some day I won't look the same Better off and thank fuck I left With every memory gone and put down to rest We are done if I’m not mistaken No more chances and no more faking Hope is so unhelpful now Don’t make a difference it seems I’ve found
4.
Currency 03:00
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Plugging my arteries now I'm forming up a clot You should know that it's hard to be that somebody that I'm not Every picture you got of me every one is not ideal I just wanna be myself cause I don't get the appeal Walking up the stairs and jumping off of the balcony Saying thanks to everybody and the people who doubted me And the moment that I'm gone they staying claiming they're innocent Beg to differ bigger picture been committing some dissonance Some of these people say I just might really fade, Fade away like currency Don't believe it couldn't be Hate the fucking winter when we're skipping through autumn I touched the bottom with my teeth a couple problems I got em I'm learning over to adjust I feel the temperature freeze Another day it goes to dark we're stuck in twenty degrees Floating with no patience every day of the week I'm feeling weak inside my knees like every time that I speak And set me back just like a clock I'll try to keep my composure Another sad unhappy ending with no sense of no closure Some of these people say I just might really fade, Fade away like currency Don't believe it couldn't be
5.
For Another Weekend 03:28
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Work all day then I come back home Everybody all around me fall to ruin like Rome Lung gave out blowing out my last breath I don’t wanna reminisce I wanna leave the past dead Filled to the top I got too much work All these thoughts in my brain bad shit that lurk Cram every term last minute don’t learn Coulda called a firefighter with the time I burn Surplus spot occupied with a bag Well nobody sits there I’m alone what a drag Nineteen years last two were a waste Writing songs it’s the money or the fame I chased I don’t know the difference both seem great It’s the end of my life now resigning can’t wait Retirement funds I withdraw that stung And say fuck what you thought I’m just young and dumb Bear with me for another weekend Make ends meet I don’t want false pretense Yeah I’m tired all the time we’ll make it through we always do No time to think or plan ahead I’ll make it right and fix it too Lot on my mind feeling overwhelmed This ain’t nothing new I’ve come to know it well Used to the shit that I said I hate Well I dug myself down an open grave Up to my throat got too much to say I’ve been stuck in this mound I’ve been running in place I get close every time but won’t let me escape I’m gonna melt through the ground flowing down through a grate Pessimistic heart full disregard I don’t keep you in mind we can drift apart And that’s life that’s tough and I know it’s hard But just might be best if we don’t restart Cross the ocean my ship has sailed Well I need that drip felt off the rails Plenty told it’s time I gotta make it stop My life for the fix gotta make the swap Bear with me for another weekend Make ends meet I don’t want false pretense Yeah I’m tired all the time we’ll make it through we always do No time to think or plan ahead I’ll make it right and fix it too
6.
Vices 03:22
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Prod. Arvid Waiting outside like I just lost the keyring I got real ice, I got diamonds on my earrings Standing in the rain we don't got a sunny day Buying every pack of woods with every bit of money made I don't do good all I do is making damage Wanna run away I'm just checking in my baggage I ain't doing well I've been feeling so lost And this CO1 drip I've been breathing from exhaust Hate this ache inside my chest I thought you weren't the same you weren't like the rest Fooled me once then fooled me twice I'm picking up my broken heart thanks to your vice Waiting on the porch I've been laying by the doorstep Passed out cold I've been drinking now to forget Sitting by myself got a bottle on the shelf Digging deeper in the scars got a pain I never felt I don't need a therapist I'm feeling all the same Know that it was all my fault know that I'm the one to blame I don't need a reason at this point I'm using time Making up another story I just say I'm doing fine Hate this ache inside my chest I thought you weren't the same you weren't like the rest Fooled me once then fooled me twice I'm picking up my broken heart thanks to your vice Well that's how it goes I got a trail of bad memories need a tighter rope Sick to my stomach got a lot a dope I gotta find another way when I gotta cope Hate this ache inside my chest I thought you weren't the same you weren't like the rest Fooled me once then fooled me twice I'm picking up my broken heart thanks to your vice
7.
Red Eyes, Orange Horizons 02:39
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Sunken in doubt deep down there's a cloud He don't stir so well but he do get loud Only got one goal making sure he gets heard Gotta make it right now till my life gets worse Laid by the sand drawn away by the beach Making no contact I'm a little out of reach Rock and a hard place stuck in between Finding no way out no I can't be seen Taken aback when I stand in the rain When I bailed that time didn't wanna face shame Cause I'm dead to the rest when the kettle go cold Made another cruel trick when the strings get pulled Gone too soon don't forget my name Take it a lesson learned to regret my fate Motherfuck all the rest do whatever feel right Seeping down the fucking drain what I said not quite Red eyes up on orange horizons Not much time, that's not surprising Burned out slow I'm stowed on an island Sunset's gone no lights are shining Swept by the wind when the trees do fall No nerves in my legs, walk turned to a crawl Got no good luck wrong roll of the dice I just feel a bit better when my cure gets ice Dreamt of the stage and the face in the crowd But I'm gone for the night float away I'm a cloud Taken some time now I got no dreams I don't feel no better I don't know what life means Page in my book but in yours I'm a line I just wanna know the reason you had nothing more to write Shrugged me away then your feelings decreased Cause I don't mean a thing I was just a set piece Laid up in my room now I don't ever leave Bitch you got a lot of nerve in saying that we never speak I don't wanna make it I don't even wanna try Never wanna see your face and I promise that's why Red eyes up on orange horizons Not much time, that's not surprising Burned out slow I'm stowed on an island Sunset's gone no lights are shining
8.
Get Me Outta Here 03:24
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Prod. Rodger I don't want apologies I'm just done and want to be Out of here if possible But it seems it ain't that probable They've all heard my name enough I'm nothing to anyone I'm the no-good second-rate Boy they needed yesterday So it goes I'll just take my headache I'll be alone myself and then take Every last drop of that open bottle Passed out drunk laying horizontal I'll be fine don't ask at all I'll waste all my time against the wall Glass in my lap and a cap in my hand So tired down here I don't even want to stand I don't want apologies I'm just done and want to be Out of here if possible But it seems it ain't that probable They've all heard my name enough I'm nothing to anyone I'm the no-good second-rate Boy they needed yesterday So it goes I'll just take this migraine They had never cared for anything that I say Every last stick in the center of the carton Feeling sidetracked I'm just wasting carbon I'll be fine don't ask a thing I'll take all my time waking up in sinks Soak my head I'm getting up And I don't know where I'm ending up I don't want apologies I'm just done and want to be Out of here if possible But it seems it ain't that probable They've all heard my name enough I'm nothing to anyone I'm the no-good second-rate Boy they needed yesterday
9.
Transmission 02:52
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Prod. Arvid Reflecting upon it cause now nobody’s responding Sending signals way out but it seems like it’s gotten A bit lost on the way no receiving it now I made a fucking SOS no hearing the sound Smoking the pain I’m fucking burning a swisher I’m drinking almost everyday and I’ve been hurting my liver Passing the time I stay depleting the cart It’s either that or outside with my keys in the car Kids up in the city think it’s cool to be sad They playing fake everyday you’re a fool to be that And each and every lie told one day will come back And I can promise it ain’t worth it being subject to that Living a lie they’re just posers to All the ones who have brains yeah they’re over you Wanted dead by the rest made majority vote Seeing so fucked up how authority goes If I said to you I hate this life I wasn't joking Overall I have to say I'm feeling down and broken If I said to you I love this life then I was lying Recently I've slowed it down and felt so tired of trying Long term thoughts ain’t coming to me I lost parts of my brain now I’m something unique Pills by the dozen make you stutter your speech And so high like a junkie rediscovering speed Right up the nose I’m going zero to eighty I got a scale out back when the kilos need weighing Done it for sport these bitches couldn’t compete And every half baked line that you wouldn’t complete Bored and alone I just pull up my notes I rap when I’m back home every word that I wrote I’m smoking down my rent now that’s the crime I commit And know the blunt stay colder than the rhymes that I spit Ashed out wraps in the bottom of bud lite’s Get paler by the day from the lacking of sunlight Never would guessed if you see what I saw It’s getting harder every day being cream of the crop If I said to you I hate this life I wasn't joking Overall I have to say I'm feeling down and broken If I said to you I love this life then I was lying Recently I've slowed it down and felt so tired of trying
10.
How I See It 02:32
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Hanging outside I'm the lonely noose And you said you love me well show me proof Got enough smoke in the blunt to share Made a deal out back and I'll meet you there Bored and act ordinarily now Cause you hate my voice I'm unbearably loud Made a withdrawal ain't faring so well Secrets told that you're caring to tell Said I'm great but don't mean to say That I never felt better and I'm here to stay Wrote a note with no hope to know I don't mean to float with this sinking boat Knife in my stomach I fall and I plummet My guts on the ground when I'm kicking the bucket Don't fuck with no others don't call up my number Just leave me to rot and fade out with no color So if I took this leap of faith Would you jump it down with me all the way Straight down about well a hundred feet We don't got a thing to lose it's just you and me Working out fear I don't need the courage Whenever there's a pot well you gotta stir it Look who ended up with no single person Every lie and cry made yeah I fucking heard it Bitch I can see right through the fake I don't give a fuck with the excuse you make I don't answer I don't wait all night Lemme block a caller and pay the price Horizons out and emerging sea 9 1 1 an emergency I'm calling bout when I'm needing help Cause I'm feeling down I'm not feeling well I need somebody to help pull me out I'm on a gurney they're rolling me out Losing my lung when I'm walking around Even I am the subject they're talking about So if I took this leap of faith Would you jump it down with me all the way Straight down about well a hundred feet We don't got a thing to lose it's just you and me
11.
Detachable 03:43
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When I’m gone remember me Remove my being, that’s my remedy See my breath I’m a hollow cage I’m like this now I’m sorrow made Worry about no one including me I’ll just disappear alone they won’t assume a thing Dragged in the sun I was left to hang Got a half dead vision when the voices sang I’m a fool thinking that I’d see A little medicine I’m taking nothing curing me No way out I’m trapped in here Stayed confined and these walls are closing near When I’m gone remember me Remove my being, that’s my remedy See my breath I’m a hollow cage I’m like this now I’m sorrow made Worry bout no one and even I Can fix no wrongs that I see as right Soaked in the sun I was left to dry Got a half gone wish praying to the sky It’s a joke thinking that I’d find A place that I could call home and could rest my mind No trace left I’m gone this time Wishing that I rest alone I got no strength to climb I’m a different animal All my feelings that I got are detachable I’m most certain that I lied Nowhere to run nowhere to hide When I’m gone remember me Remove my being, that’s my remedy See my breath I’m a hollow cage I’m like this now I’m sorrow made
12.
Excess Company 03:07
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Your excess company is doing no good for me so, I'd hate to be a bother while I'm watching how we go Do not awake me I wanna stay in golden slumbers For the rest of eternity buried under the covers I'm fucking frozen in time I spend these moments in my bed I never want to arise I'm choosing sleeping instead Down below the surface no the problem is deeper I never understood myself and they can never know either I'm feeling victim to an issue that I cannot control I'm trying my hardest and my best but that's a view I uphold Your excess company is doing no good for me so, I'd hate to be a bother while I'm watching how we go Got a little tougher I still carry my motives And on the ride I lost perception I just buried my focus I'm clinging fast onto the edge I feel my fingers will slip A paper trail to leave behind because my mouth will be zipped Want a bit of smoke I'm reaching into the carton I'm never stopping never ending bitch I'm barely just starting I planted just a couple seeds and now I'm tending the garden A motherfucking dreamer now this territory's uncharted Your excess company is doing no good for me so, I'd hate to be a bother while I'm watching how we go
13.
Melancholy 03:03
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These melancholy thoughts invade Every inch and every space Of my mind and won’t give up I’ve seen it all and felt enough I’m a mortal human being I cannot do that much I try with every fiber in me Still they’re quick to judge I try to make a different speech According to the missing piece A part that left a mark inside And helps to bring the peace I try with all my strength It hurts to break apart with greater length Familiar face and place I can’t recall but though I know your name I lost my train of thought my brain can rot My veins’ll clot I’ll make a song and fake along My message made conveyed it wrong These melancholy thoughts invade Every inch and every space Of my mind and won’t give up I’ve seen it all and felt enough Toss and turn I watch it burn It seems I’ve gotten worse I try with all my force my breath is short It’s like I’m speaking Morse Talk in tongues I speak in code They ask me what but I don’t know Disregarding this alarm and Waking up remarking on the fact I take my days and waste Them all I make them all the same Never change between the two And losing feeling too Made an effort check the dresser Pop and made it better Never better that’s whatever Gone and with the weather These melancholy thoughts invade Every inch and every space Of my mind and won’t give up I’ve seen it all and felt enough
14.
Failed to Last / Better Left Unsaid 05:20
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Fading memories Temporary All that's over gone and passed Today is new, it couldn't last Sharing stories Waiting for me Even though it didn't work I'll take it as my lesson learned Keep your head up out of line Just put a smile on I'll be fine Drink it down don't mind the taste No need to wait no time to waste Oxycodone side effect You've had your turn and don't attempt Took a rest I'm on the street It hurts my lungs I hate to breathe Fading memories Temporary All that's over gone and passed Today is new, it couldn't last Sharing stories Waiting for me Even though it didn't work I'll take it as my lesson learned Tried my luck and couldn't make That second chance I wouldn't take Getting by I'm hating life These razor blades they must suffice Tried my best not good enough I'm on the edge, I'm giving up Looking down no looking up I've got a voice they couldn't love Fading memories Temporary All that's over gone and passed Today is new, it couldn't last Sharing stories Waiting for me Even though it didn't work I'll take it as my lesson learned Don't go, she wept Sometimes things are best unsaid Don't leave, she meant All those times I up and left No heart so far It's worked to help with these scars No stars they are Spending nights behind the dark Cry me a river And drown me in sorrow I may not shiver But I will tomorrow
15.
Lose My Mind (Cover) 02:42
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I'm 'bout to give her everything she ever wanted and more What I deliver it's something that can't be bought at the store I'm tryna bring you with me baby while I'm finding myself That feeling when you kiss me tells me I don't need no one else I had to lose my mind a couple times to find out its you I had to run around the world just to be here it's true These other women don't got nothing on the way that she moves Lets pick up right where we left off last night inside of my room When the time come I'll be right here Sippin' liquor with a grin on my face, for you I got nothing left to keep me awake I don't got no better thing to do than sit here and wait For you For you For you For you

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released February 16, 2019

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